Showing posts with label creativity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label creativity. Show all posts

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Who Moved My "Hunny" Pot?

Who Moved My "HUNNY" Pot?
Photo: PartyTimesRUs.com


When I was younger, I adored craft projects....drawing, painting, creating masterpieces of childhood imagination. I penned poetry and avidly wrote fictional stories. Then gradually, the arts projects, poetry, and writing stopped. Where did the creativity go? Who moved my HUNNY pot?

It's true that over the years, we become so involved in the daily hum-drum of life, that we oftentimes don't eke out or have the energy for our creative exploits. Which is very much true in my life too, but in my case, there was a fear that accompanied picking it back up.

What was this dampening fear? I scanned my psyche to figure out what was hindering the unleashing of my creative creature? And so began my quest.

Three "AHA" Moments
Photo: MomLogic

Ironically, since I was a wee one, my mom's nickname for me has been "Pooh", so it seemed rather fitting that I was now in search of my "HUNNY" pot.


AHA #1: I soon realized that my number one fear, was the fear of FAILING. Failing to produce something worthy. But what didn't dawn on me is that it didn't have to be worthy of anyone else but me. AHA! First realization! Don't fear failing...failures lead to successes.

AHA #2: Second light bulb, and something that I still struggle with, is that I'm a perfectionist to my very core. For those of you that are artists, you realize that oftentimes some of the most remarkable pieces of artwork or creative pursuits result from the mistakes or imperfections. AHA number 2! I was getting upset because whatever I did wasn't "perfect". Not necessary! Especially if I'm doing it for ME! It doesn't have to be perfect.

AHA #3: The third realization had me digging back deep into my childhood as to why I felt the fear and perfectionism. Who was I comparing myself to? It was then I realized I was comparing myself and feeling overshadowed by my highly creative and accomplished mother. She is a very talented writer, artist, illustrator, and overall an incredibly imaginative being. In my mind I felt and often questioned the pursuit with, "Why bother?" There's no way in hell I can compete with that. I mean, SERIOUSLY!

Now trust me, this was through no fault of my mom's. She was being who she was meant to be. This was truly my own perception. Granted, she liked to tweak work that I had done which also created a subset of issues, but overall it was my feeling of inadequacy compared to her greatness. AHA number 3! It was then I realized that the only person that I needed to compare myself with was myself, not my mother, Ansel Adams, Degas....anyone! Truly, it didn't matter if my mom, or any of the greats, were better at it, I wasn't doing it for her, I was doing it for me...to feed MY soul. Avoid comparing yourself to others.

Photo: Richard Heeks
Once I burst through these AHA bubbles, the juices began flowing. I felt a release. Then just like Pooh in the  pursuit to quench the rumbly in his tumbly by searching for an overflowing "HUNNY" pot, my creative soul ached for sweet nourishment.

So, in the past year and a half, I began painting on wine glasses and creating my own little art, which has been thoroughly satisfying, but also very addicting. Once I caught the bug, I wanted to do more and burst out of this shell I had created around myself. I began experimenting with other mediums and arenas and haven't had the FEAR hold me back from experimenting.

Now let me just say, there are times when I begin to get upset if something fails, or if it's not "perfect"...but then I correct my thoughts and tell myself, it truly wasn't a failure because I learned a new way of not doing it and making it better the next time.

Remember when pushing through some of your fears:

  • Don't be afraid to fail. 
  • It doesn't have to be perfect, just try!
  • Don't compete or compare your accomplishments with anyone else, but yourself.
Be fearless in finding your "HUNNY" pot!

~Fearless@40

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Reclaiming Creativity

Do you remember when you were a kid and you lived life unabashedly? You threw yourself into finger painting, storytelling, and played so hard that you collapsed exhausted in bed at night? Your imagination was fresh, vibrant, and unbridled.

Somewhere along the way, some of us lost that. The problem is that if we don't celebrate the talent and creativity within us, nurturing it as we go, we lose it or forget that we even had a creative gene in our body. In my case, I never thought of myself as creative in any sense. Why? Well...I did a lot of comparisons with other people's talent, especially with that of my mom. My mom was the writer, poet, and artist. Her talent seemed unending and up against that, how could I truly compare? I remember when I was younger, I wrote poetry and even had my first poem published at 7 years old. I still remember the words verbatim. Even though I was published, I didn't very much feel validated. And truly...writing poetry is not really the cool thing to do when you're a kid, at least not according to your peers. So I didn't really admit that too freely. That's not the cool thing! Now, I loved to draw, but knew that I'd never compare to mom....so where do you go from there. I guess I measured creativity by who was better at it, not by what truly gave me pleasure or what I could continue to improve on in myself.

It wasn't until recently that I ventured into the creative realm once more, slowly melting into my creative self. It was time to reclaim every part of my life, starting here. Again, I didn't want the fear of failure keep me from doing something that I perhaps loved. This time, I vowed it would be about me and solely about me. No comparisons. Or at least I'd try my very best to avoid it. Not allowing myself to feel overshadowed by someone else's successes. That was unfair to them and to me. I wish I had grown up with this perspective. Again, it's baby steps and I'm moving forward.

In regards to my mom, I recently confessed that even up until recently I never considered myself creative. Ironically, she saw me completely the opposite. It was her turn to shock me. I was flabbergasted when she then confided in me that it wasn't until recently that she considered herself an artist. Her admission left me speechless! Truly amazing how our perspectives shape us and the shades of our realities, isn't it?

Now the hard part is figuring out what I love to do. So I've been unlocking the mind vault, traipsing through hidden recesses of childhood memories to recall those things that I found joy in. Photography, writing, creating and fixing things...that where I've started. I'm thrilled to say, one adventure is leading to another.

Keep making baby steps everyone and live life fearlessly!

~Fearless@40