Quick Quote

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” ~Elbert Hubbard

Authentic Self

"Be your authentic self. Your authentic self is who you are when you have no fear of judgment, or before the world starts pushing you around and telling you who you're supposed to be. Your fictional self is who you are when you have a social mask on to please everyone else. Give yourself permission to be your authentic self." ~ Dr. Phil

Lately, I've been on a journey to find my authentic self, answering the questions "Who am I really?" and "Am I being all that I'm meant to be?" Living who I was created to be not who the outside world thinks I should be. Am I living my life using my true gifts and talents? Or am I doing and acting how others expect me to act?

Part of this quest stems from this burning feeling inside of me that I'm not all that I want to be. That somewhere along the line something changed. A light switch went on, or bells went off, or something clicked in my head. The career that once held so much fulfillment, no longer held the same sweetness. Those things that once stirred me and motivated me have changed because I realized I've changed. Since opening up myself to new experiences as well as letting go of fears that have held me back, reconnecting myself to passions once lost and forgotten.

I've been reading articles and books on identifying what my authentic self is, which have definitely helped direct me. I have to say....I'm frustrated. Partly because I want it NOW! LOL But partly because I feel like I'm going through this whole metamorphosis and my wings are struggling to burst through the cocoon!

On the flip side, I must be discovering more of my authentic self if I'm realizing what I am now doesn't feel right. That what I'm doing now just isn't working for me anymore. That it doesn't feel "authentic" or true to myself. So, am getting there...just slowly. I guess I'm learning how to be patient too.



When it comes to authenticity, Nathaniel Hawthorne eloquently summed it up when he said, "No one man can, for any considerable time, wear one face to himself, and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which is the true one."

Becoming your authentic self can lead to peace and greater fulfillment in your life, not to mention less confusion on what you are and what you truly want from life, career, passions, etc.

Good luck finding and living your authentic selves!

~Fearlessly40


Here are a few resources that I found helpful:
"Defining Your Authentic Self". Dr. Phil. http://drphil.com/articles/article/73
"Will the Real Authentic Voices Please Stand Up and Be Heard". Psychology Today. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/when-food-is-family/201112/will-the-real-authentic-voices-please-stand-and-be-heard

Who Moved My "Hunny" Pot?

Who Moved My "HUNNY" Pot?

Photo: PartyTimesRUs.com

When I was younger, I adored craft projects....drawing, painting, creating masterpieces of childhood imagination. I penned poetry and avidly wrote fictional stories. Then gradually, the arts projects, poetry, and writing stopped. Where did the creativity go? Who moved my HUNNY pot?

It's true that over the years, we become so involved in the daily hum-drum of life, that we oftentimes don't eke out or have the energy for our creative exploits. Which is very much true in my life too, but in my case, there was a fear that accompanied picking it back up.

What was this dampening fear? I scanned my psyche to figure out what was hindering the unleashing of my creative creature? And so began my quest.

Three "AHA" Moments

Photo: MomLogic

Ironically, since I was a wee one, my mom's nickname for me has been "Pooh", so it seemed rather fitting that I was now in search of my "HUNNY" pot.


AHA #1: I soon realized that my number one fear, was the fear of FAILING. Failing to produce something worthy. But what didn't dawn on me is that it didn't have to be worthy of anyone else but me. AHA! First realization! Don't fear failing...failures lead to successes.

AHA #2: Second light bulb, and something that I still struggle with, is that I'm a perfectionist to my very core. For those of you that are artists, you realize that oftentimes some of the most remarkable pieces of artwork or creative pursuits result from the mistakes or imperfections. AHA number 2! I was getting upset because whatever I did wasn't "perfect". Not necessary! Especially if I'm doing it for ME! It doesn't have to be perfect.

AHA #3: The third realization had me digging back deep into my childhood as to why I felt the fear and perfectionism. Who was I comparing myself to? It was then I realized I was comparing myself and feeling overshadowed by my highly creative and accomplished mother. She is a very talented writer, artist, illustrator, and overall an incredibly imaginative being. In my mind I felt and often questioned the pursuit with, "Why bother?" There's no way in hell I can compete with that. I mean, SERIOUSLY!

Now trust me, this was through no fault of my mom's. She was being who she was meant to be. This was truly my own perception. Granted, she liked to tweak work that I had done which also created a subset of issues, but overall it was my feeling of inadequacy compared to her greatness. AHA number 3! It was then I realized that the only person that I needed to compare myself with was myself, not my mother, Ansel Adams, Degas....anyone! Truly, it didn't matter if my mom, or any of the greats, were better at it, I wasn't doing it for her, I was doing it for me...to feed MY soul. Avoid comparing yourself to others.

Photo: Richard Heeks

Once I burst through these AHA bubbles, the juices began flowing. I felt a release. Then just like Pooh in the  pursuit to quench the rumbly in his tumbly by searching for an overflowing "HUNNY" pot, my creative soul ached for sweet nourishment.

So, in the past year and a half, I began painting on wine glasses and creating my own little art, which has been thoroughly satisfying, but also very addicting. Once I caught the bug, I wanted to do more and burst out of this shell I had created around myself. I began experimenting with other mediums and arenas and haven't had the FEAR hold me back from experimenting.

Now let me just say, there are times when I begin to get upset if something fails, or if it's not "perfect"...but then I correct my thoughts and tell myself, it truly wasn't a failure because I learned a new way of not doing it and making it better the next time.

Remember when pushing through some of your fears:

• Don't be afraid to fail. 
• It doesn't have to be perfect, just try!
• Don't compete or compare your accomplishments with anyone else, but yourself.

Be fearless in finding your "HUNNY" pot!

~Fearless@40

Endless Seashore

"Hope is an endless seashore awaiting your footprints." ~Annie Roberts

There's a lot to be said about hope. Merriam-Webster's Dictionary defines hope as "to desire with expectation of obtainment; to expect with confidence."

Lately, I've been feeling both hopeful and hopefully-challenged. Hopeful in my future - in my career, in balancing my work/life, and hope that other issues will resolve themselves. But then there's that annoying niggling in the back of my mind that puts the fear of God into me..."what if it doesn't work out"? I've been absorbing a lot of material through reading and audio books lately, which has been a tremendous help for me. I feel like I'm in some sort of transition, but somehow the knowledge that I have options and I'm exploring all my options has given me hope for the future and clears the seashore for my footprints.

Here's to your hopeful day and future and encouraging you to live fearlessly in all things.

~Fearless@40



References:
Merriam-Webster Dictionary. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hope

Today's Quote

"Discipline yourself to do the things you need to do the things you need to do when you need to them,and the day will come when you will be able to do the things you want to do them!" ~Zig Ziglar

Wanted to pass along this insightful article by Dr. Nancy Wall, Tampa Bay MatchMakers (Nov 15, 2010) titled "What's holding you back from accomplishing your goals?"
http://tampabaymatchmakers.wordpress.com/2010/11/15/whats-holding-you-back-from-accomplishing-your-goals/

Keep moving forward and LiveFearlessly!

Today's Quote: Author Unknown

"Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death."  ~Author Unknown

Today's Quote: Samuel Butler

"Fear is static that prevents me from hearing myself." ~Samuel Butler

Today's Quote: Katherine Paterson

"To fear is one thing. To let fear grab you by the tail and swing you around is another." ~Katherine Paterson, Jacob Have I Loved

Today's Quote: Mark Twain

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear." ~Mark Twain

Today's Quote: Brendan Francis

"Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them." ~Brendan Francis

Reclaiming Creativity

Do you remember when you were a kid and you lived life unabashedly? You threw yourself into finger painting, storytelling, and played so hard that you collapsed exhausted in bed at night? Your imagination was fresh, vibrant, and unbridled.

Somewhere along the way, some of us lost that. The problem is that if we don't celebrate the talent and creativity within us, nurturing it as we go, we lose it or forget that we even had a creative gene in our body. In my case, I never thought of myself as creative in any sense. Why? Well...I did a lot of comparisons with other people's talent, especially with that of my mom. My mom was the writer, poet, and artist. Her talent seemed unending and up against that, how could I truly compare? I remember when I was younger, I wrote poetry and even had my first poem published at 7 years old. I still remember the words verbatim. Even though I was published, I didn't very much feel validated. And truly...writing poetry is not really the cool thing to do when you're a kid, at least not according to your peers. So I didn't really admit that too freely. That's not the cool thing! Now, I loved to draw, but knew that I'd never compare to mom....so where do you go from there. I guess I measured creativity by who was better at it, not by what truly gave me pleasure or what I could continue to improve on in myself.

It wasn't until recently that I ventured into the creative realm once more, slowly melting into my creative self. It was time to reclaim every part of my life, starting here. Again, I didn't want the fear of failure keep me from doing something that I perhaps loved. This time, I vowed it would be about me and solely about me. No comparisons. Or at least I'd try my very best to avoid it. Not allowing myself to feel overshadowed by someone else's successes. That was unfair to them and to me. I wish I had grown up with this perspective. Again, it's baby steps and I'm moving forward.

In regards to my mom, I recently confessed that even up until recently I never considered myself creative. Ironically, she saw me completely the opposite. It was her turn to shock me. I was flabbergasted when she then confided in me that it wasn't until recently that she considered herself an artist. Her admission left me speechless! Truly amazing how our perspectives shape us and the shades of our realities, isn't it?

Now the hard part is figuring out what I love to do. So I've been unlocking the mind vault, traipsing through hidden recesses of childhood memories to recall those things that I found joy in. Photography, writing, creating and fixing things...that where I've started. I'm thrilled to say, one adventure is leading to another.

Keep making baby steps everyone and live life fearlessly!

~Fearless@40

New Year, New Perspective

2011 was a year full of growth for me. A lot of painful stretching, but good growth nonetheless. I decided that I was going to break away from the fear that's been holding me back.The thought of living life was exhilarating, terrifying, and overwhelming...all of these emotions flooding at me. But the biggest emotion? Relief.

I realized that underlying many of my fears was the fear of failure. I'm a perfectionist. Growing up, failure to my parents, and subsequently to me, wasn't an option. This perspective also had me worry extensively that OTHER people were judging me, whether I failed or succeeded. Now, that's not to say that there weren't those wishing I fail miserably or laughing without mirth at my failures, but overall I don't think that's generally what was going on....just in my head.

So, with the new year I decided I'm not making New Year's resolutions...instead, I'm making daily resolutions. That relieves some of the pressure to be perfect and get it all done by the end of the year. It also lessens the let-down or disappointment in myself if I don't achieve all that I wanted to achieve.

I know that every day begins with baby steps. However, each day brings with it pride that I'm moving forward.

More to come....live fearlessly, regardless of what age you are!

~Fearless@40