Do you remember when you were a kid and you lived life unabashedly? You threw yourself into finger painting, storytelling, and played so hard that you collapsed exhausted in bed at night? Your imagination was fresh, vibrant, and unbridled.
Somewhere along the way, some of us lost that. The problem is that if we don't celebrate the talent and creativity within us, nurturing it as we go, we lose it or forget that we even had a creative gene in our body. In my case, I never thought of myself as creative in any sense. Why? Well...I did a lot of comparisons with other people's talent, especially with that of my mom. My mom was the writer, poet, and artist. Her talent seemed unending and up against that, how could I truly compare? I remember when I was younger, I wrote poetry and even had my first poem published at 7 years old. I still remember the words verbatim. Even though I was published, I didn't very much feel validated. And truly...writing poetry is not really the cool thing to do when you're a kid, at least not according to your peers. So I didn't really admit that too freely. That's not the cool thing! Now, I loved to draw, but knew that I'd never compare to mom....so where do you go from there. I guess I measured creativity by who was better at it, not by what truly gave me pleasure or what I could continue to improve on in myself.
It wasn't until recently that I ventured into the creative realm once more, slowly melting into my creative self. It was time to reclaim every part of my life, starting here. Again, I didn't want the fear of failure keep me from doing something that I perhaps loved. This time, I vowed it would be about me and solely about me. No comparisons. Or at least I'd try my very best to avoid it. Not allowing myself to feel overshadowed by someone else's successes. That was unfair to them and to me. I wish I had grown up with this perspective. Again, it's baby steps and I'm moving forward.
In regards to my mom, I recently confessed that even up until recently I never considered myself creative. Ironically, she saw me completely the opposite. It was her turn to shock me. I was flabbergasted when she then confided in me that it wasn't until recently that she considered herself an artist. Her admission left me speechless! Truly amazing how our perspectives shape us and the shades of our realities, isn't it?
Now the hard part is figuring out what I love to do. So I've been unlocking the mind vault, traipsing through hidden recesses of childhood memories to recall those things that I found joy in. Photography, writing, creating and fixing things...that where I've started. I'm thrilled to say, one adventure is leading to another.
Keep making baby steps everyone and live life fearlessly!
~Fearless@40
